:-(
April 28, 2008Just when I was beginning to accept myself and be okay with the size I am now (okay as in not hating my body but learning to love it and to be patient with it), I spent the day with a friend who brought along her friend…who happens to be a model. <SIGH>
Seriously, this girl had perrrfect skin (no blemishes, no stretchmarks, no visible pores) and her legs (she was wearing a very short skirt) were amazingly long, lean, and toned. They looked like gymnasts’ legs (not the regular gymnasts but the rhythmic gymnasts who dance around with the balls, hoops, and ribbons…and who have legs that never seem to end). Basically her body was to die for and I was so depressed afterwards because I felt like no matter what I did/do, mine will never be like hers. Ever. Even if I miraculously lost all my extra weight, I still have all the stretchmarks and cellulite and horrendous pores to contend with. It was just sad.
And need I mention she ate enough calories in one meal to last me two days? Apparently she is one of those people who can eat anything she wants and still stay skinny. Such is life I guess. Some people just have all the luck.
April 28, 2008 at 4:15 am
But you’re smart, funny, wise, kind and full of gentle goodness… and those things can’t be achieved through diet or exercise. Not that she wasn’t delightful, but bodies can be changed, dear… what’s in your heart and spirit is what determines the mark you leave on the world. That said, just be being you, you will leave the world better than you found it, Alice… and even though I *too* am struggling to change who I am outwardly, I’d challenge you to look inward and see all the beauty that you’ve already got. Being thin will be great (once we get there) but being a good person is what really matters… and on that count, you’re already there.
j
April 28, 2008 at 10:19 am
“And need I mention she ate enough calories in one meal to last me two days? Apparently she is one of those people who can eat anything she wants and still stay skinny.”
It’s more likely that she moves a lot - whether through her job, determined exercise or even general fidgeting.
Also, you she moved her calories around to have a nice day out and would be eating lettuce the rest of the week.
You original goal is good enough. You’ll get there.
April 30, 2008 at 5:24 am
jenn - thanks for the kind, comforting words. i know i’m a good person and i like me. it’s just that it gets really frustrating sometimes to be with people who seem to have it all together, whether that’s really true or not.
paola - she said she doesn’t exercise. she’s not the first size nothing eat everything person i’ve met. i know several people who are like that. anyway, i just need to block all the negativity out and focus on my goals like you said.
June 7, 2008 at 1:52 am
Exactly, stay self-focused, goal-focused, and get on with life. Some people have all the luck …. focus on what you can control (yourself) and not on those who won the ovarian lottery :)